Coffee Highs at Night
by Dark'nLightAngel
Summary: Rufus and Reno have had a few pots of coffee within a few hours time...A bad thing for a certain General who fell asleep at his desk. Graffiti, chaos, and overuse of the color pink. Enjoy. Revised and edited!


I originally made this for my friend, Sere. I hope you all like it. -heart- Review with your thoughts, please!

Disclaimer: Don't own it!

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Reno and Rufus slipped down the halls of the main Shinra building, Reno carrying a box with unknown contents while Rufus was leading Dark Nation, who would be able to sense if anyone was coming that they wouldn't want to encounter.

"Who's our next victim, boss?" Reno asked in a mock-serious tone of voice as Rufus and Dark Nation peeked around the corner, snickering.

They had been staying up late to finish some last-minute reports the General had thrown at them as payback for making him wait a hour and a half to speak to the Vice President, whom was taking care of his father's job at the main building while said father was off on some business trip halfway around Gaia.

So, in other words, Rufus did the last minute reports and made Reno stay with him for 'protection' and amusement. Mostly amusement.

However, they had also managed to drink at least three pots of coffee in that time period. Now that the reports were done and over with, they had a lot of extra energy to spend. What better way then to spend it on causing chaos and mayhem in the middle of the night, eh?

Rufus had declared that they should take the gift of energy they had been given and do what they were meant to. Wreak mayhem on all of the building in the middle of the night!

So far, they had gotten nearly every person residing in the building but Zack, Tseng (who they had graciously decided to grant immunity to), and the Great General Sephiroth himself.

"The General's Second in Command." Came the all-too-serious reply before Rufus dived into a near-by open office, as said Second in Command passed by, whistling merrily all the while.

Why Zack Fair was still awake at this time of night, wandering the ShinRa tower, they didn't know. They only cared about the fact that it made him the perfect victim for what Rufus and Reno felt like doing at that moment in time.

Waiting a brief moment to make sure it was safe (and after Reno finished his drawings of silly things on the office's wall), they quietly snuck down the hall after the raven haired SOLDIER, First Class.

Reno was trailing different markers along the walls to mark their way, not that they needed it. He just wanted to do as much damage as possible.

After a moment or so of this, Zack paused, causing his followers to stop as well. Within a few moments, some banging and crashing and yelling, poor Zack found himself tied up with makeup covering his face, and stuffed into the ladies room, a gag firmly placed in his mouth to muffle the unfortunate males shouting.

"That was great. Where'd you learn to use a rope like that?"

"You'd be surprised at how many things the General has taught me since we've started discussing things with each other, Reno." Rufus smirked back at the Turk before pushing open a random door and quietly peeking inside. "Speak of the devil...We've reached Sephiroth's office...And look who was up late doing paperwork as well."

"Serves him right..." Reno peeked his head in from behind the blond, blinking at the sight in front of him.

Obviously Reno and Rufus had hogged all the coffee, so poor Sephy had been forced to stay up without it's help, and it apparently hadn't worked for very long.

Especially seeing as aforementioned male was partially sprawled across his desk, pen still in hand, having been mid-paper when he finally gave in and slipped into a deep sleep.

"How...Adorable."

"I didn't even know you could use that word for the General, yo...Let's play!" Reno grinned, setting his box of unmentionables down carefully on the desk before starting to rummage through it with Rufus, producing ribbons, bows, dye, scissors, nail polish, makeup, and accessories...

_**---The next morning...---**_

"RUFUS! RENO!" An...Amazingly feminine looking General was storming down the now very strange looking hallways, having already saved his best friend from the Ladies Room and the enraged females who had found him there.

He had also been enduring cat-calls, whistles, and strange looks all morning, since he had left his office. Now he knew why. About a inch of the bottom of his gloriously silver hair had been dyed, with permanent hair dye no less, pink. Fucking pink! And if that wasn't enough, it was done up and styled with bows in it so that the pink was shown more.

His perfect nails had been painted pink as well, and makeup had been applied to him to help make the pink stand out more against his perfect features, as well as pink ribbons tied around his neck, and his left wrist.

He didn't really mind or care about the makeup, or the ribbons and bows or the nail polish, or even the fact that his leather gloves had been cut off his hands for said nail polish to be applied and the rest of his leather clothing had somehow been turned pink while still on him.

Oh no, he couldn't give a damn about any of that. But they had fucked with his hair. His beautiful, flowing, _silver _hair! An inch! A whole fucking inch was turned pink!

There would be_hell _to pay.

As he burst into Rufus' personal rooms the now silver-and-now-pink-haired angel unsheathed Masamune, only to discover that not only had his precious sword's hilt been turned pink, but so had the entire blade. His eyes narrowed into catlike slits at this, and he headed strait for the bedroom, throwing the door open.

Rufus was sitting at his desk, combing out his newly-washed hair with careful precision while Reno was leaning against the wall, in a lazy manner by the window, looking out of it as they conversed about last nights antics. Their conversation was cut short when Rufus' attention was suddenly turned towards the pinkified General who'd just burst through his bedroom door.

He barely managed to suppress his surprise, horror and amusement at the sight of Sephy standing in his bedroom's doorway with the ---now pink--- Masamune pointed straight at him and Reno.

Conjuring up the coldest and calmest voice he could manage in the current situation, Rufus raised an eyebrow and spoke, "Can I help you, General?"

"Rufus---You—Reno---Pink---MY HAIR!" Oh, yes, he was infuriated, he wasn't even able to speak correctly through his rage...How new.

Reno turned his head away from the window lazily, to raise an eyebrow at Sephiroth. "Oh, that's nothing. We took some cute pictures of you sleeping last night, both when we found you and after we finished."

The silver-and-now-pink haired angel's eyes narrowed further. "I'm going to have to cut an inch off my hair because of you! And, AND you turned Masamune PINK! Pink, for fucks sake!"

"We turned your whole wardrobe pink, Sir."

"Do you _want_ to die, Turk?" Came the hissed reply as the General clenched his fist around the hilt of his beloved sword even tighter.

"I'll tell you what I want, General. I want you to leave my quarters, so that I may finish readying myself for work, we _do_ have a staff meeting today, remember?"

"Fine, Rufus. But be warned, I _will _have revenge on you two. Just wait." With that the General turned and swept from the room, Masamune being sheathed as he went. Rufus was right, they had a staff meeting, and there was no way in hell he was going looking like this.

--------------- 

Ever since that incident, both the Vice President and his Turk lover had their security in their private quarters upgraded and, much to their displeasure, have been limited to only one pot of coffee per night.

Cloud had told them that the coffee limit was by Sephiroth's personal orders. That seemed to be the General's revenge for the inch of hair he had lost, thanks to their night-time coffee high.

Reno and Rufus decided that they would make it a point to force the silver-haired angel to get a trim at least twice a year, from now on.

Fin


End file.
